Hard ons and Honey buns, a common moniker for the average 12 year old. The age old expression comes from a young man’s tendency to have one or the other in his right (seldomly left) hand at all times. In the classroom, at the lunch table, or sitting on a musty living room couch watching sportcenter’s third loop of Tuesday’s top 10 plays, it seemed like nothing passed time better than a collection of processed plastic wrapped food and the prevalent, often inconvenient half chub that burdened so many of us. All things considered, being 12 was awesome. Nothing mattered, girls were weird, mom’s yelling at you to get off the PS4, and all you care about is who won the recess football game.

While tried and true, all common phrases carry a few exceptions, and this exception happens to be a heck of a football player. At the age of 12, Drake Lee Maye happened to put aside his family sized pack of flavor blasted goldfish and instead picked up the love of his life. Despite limited field awareness of the type of talent to come during his time at Chapel Hill, talk about a clear headed play at a young age. That’s the type of guy you want sitting in your pocket, and I’m not talking about on the football field ladies. So while the rest of us were counting the number of hot Cheetos we could fit in our mouth, Drake Maye was figuring out women still can’t decide where they want to eat, even if the only option is the cafeteria. Good on you, Drake Maye.